The Byron-Bay based love guru and best-selling author has documented her revolutionary approach to love, romance and everything in between in a 10 part podcast called “Higher Love”.
And while 2020 has thrust a spanner into the mix of pretty much every facet of our lives, Levin credits an acute sense of “self-awareness” as a powerful tool to our love woes for the past, present and future.
“I talk a lot about self-awareness, because it’s something we’re all lacking,” Levin tells 9honey.
“I ask people how do you want to feel in love, what makes you feel like a whole person, what brings you joy – and they’re often shocked to find they never even asked themselves.”
Levin is known for shattering stereotypes when it comes to love, and she does so immediately when she discounts the myth that “women are so complicated.”
“People really just want to meet their best friend and someone they can trust and be their most authentic selves with,” Levin explains.
“We confuse ourselves by going into dating trying to be what the other person wants us to be – but too hard to maintain something that’s not your true self.”
In the podcast, Levin finds the three women – all of vastly different backgrounds, personalities and experiences – rarely asked themselves what it was they needed from their future.
Posting a call out to women through her social networks, Levin examined over 250 videos to find the subjects for her show.
“The amount of incredible, smart, intelligent, charismatic, gorgeous women – who were still single that applied was unreal.”
Eventually, she settled on the three who she would change the lives of: Bec, 32 from Victoria that was a serial situational relationship person, Courtney, 36, who was reeling from a break up with the love of her life, and Phoebe, 25, who’d never been in a relationship before.
“They were also so different and nuanced that I thought it’d be perfect to show how some simple questions can be applicable to such vastly different stories of love.
While Levin refused to let up any spoilers over what happened in each woman’s love life, laughing “you’ll have to just tune in for the details”, the best-selling author of relationship advice books Higher Love, Lunar Lover and The Middle, did share her tips to finding love – even in lockdown.
Levin’s purpose is simple: “I want people to go on dates and ask whether they actually like these people they’re with.”
Seems obvious, but in Australia’s passive dating culture, where an overwhelming amount of love is left to dating apps, we’ve, frankly put, “become lazy – every single one of us.”
“Dating apps have become as prevalent in our ability to pass time as Instagram and Facebook have,” Levin explains.
“But often we get the validation we need and then we’re really passive in the pursuit of something more.”
Such validation can often pose a barrier to meaningful connection.
“I think we just want to be validated and accepted because we’re not validating and accepting ourselves,” Levin explains.
“I mean, do you even like the other person, or do you just want them to want to want you?”
Though she admits it’s a cliche, the relationship writer explains the importance of analysing and filling the “gaps” we have in ourselves, before pursuing a partner.
“Otherwise you’ll find someone who will walk in and out of the relationship with all the pieces they already had and you’re left there feeling empty and s—.”
Ultimately, Levin says compatibility is merely about “aligning values” instead of waiting for stars to align instead.
“Know what you value in a relationship and what you’re willing to compromise on.”